Before I had Freya I worked in offices with women who came back from maternity leave and they used to say how hard it was and I thought it must be so crap. But at that stage of my life with no children of my own I thought it was crap because the lazy mornings of watching This Morning in their PJ’s were over.
Sure I had a couple of mornings like that on maternity leave. In the first few weeks I annihilated the entire box set of Downton Abbey when all Freya wanted to do was feed, sleep, feed, sleep. After the epic Downton days it all changed and maternity leave was not at all what I expected and I’m really glad about that. It was so much better. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I crave those days again, to just veg on the sofa and watch shite, drinking hot chocolates my husband made me with extra marshmallows as I vowed to join some kind of mum Xtreme yoga class. The capital X and omitting the ‘E’ just makes it so much more exciting. Not Xciting enough to actually get me there though.
Maternity leave then became quite hard work, but much better than actual work. She needed entertaining and apparently watching me neck hot chocolates wasn’t cutting it. Our living room became like a baby Total Wipeout course. From the rainforest, to the swing chair, to the bouncy chair, to the jumparoo and the big red balls even featured in the form of my birthing balls. I was knackered … this child has the attention span of a fish. I started taking classes, baby sensory being a particular favourite and naturally meeting mum friends for coffee and cake, thus reducing the need for Xtreme exercise class of course. I started to find my groove and I felt more confident as a mum. By the way, just as that happens, they throw you a curve ball like teething, oh the joys! Mixed in with all this gooey baby loveliness are the days when I just wanted to watch box sets or have a pee without someone either watching me or screaming! I hate to admit it but I did have days when I was bored too and I just wanted my own space again or for someone to come and entertain her so I didn’t have to think of new ways to do it. Believe me, typing this now makes me feel so incredibly guilty for saying that. I know I shouldn’t feel guilty for needing a break sometimes but being back at work now I would give anything to have a day with Freya at home bored out of my tits.