I’ve spent the last 4 years telling women if they notice any change in their baby’s movements to call their midwife immediately. Prompt action is key and can save lives. So when I found a lump in my breast (while scratching my armpit…so glamourous!) I took my own advice and was at the GPs within 12 hours.
The next couple of weeks saw me undergo a scan, a mammogram and various people groping me (sadly all medical professionals and all women…a sad reflection of my social life!) Then finally last Tuesday, after 3 hours of appointments, the breast specialist said it was most likely Cancer. She could see 4 lumps so needed to take 8 biopsies to confirm it was Cancer, and what kind of cancer it was.
This wasn’t the shocking, devastating news I would have expected it to be. I can’t process the news without more information. Am I looking at surgery? Surgery and chemo? Or a limited amount of time left with my children?
If it’s surgery and/or chemo I can cope with that (for now….when it starts it may obviously be another story!). Being a single mum with 2 young children at home a stay in hospital will probably be my summer holiday!
However I can’t cope if it’s stage 4 and I might not be here to help my daughter through puberty and teen angst, or meet my son’s first
girlfriend/boyfriend and decide if they are good enough for my perfect boy. That’s a whole new ball game.
So until I know what it is and what I’m facing I can’t process this.
And so begins the longest week of my life. Everything about my life is leading to 2:30 next Wednesday
I’ve only told 2 or 3 people as I feel I can’t tell people without knowing more. It’s a bit like when people put up those annoying cryptic Facebook statuses…
“I’ll inbox you Hun”
“can’t believe some people have said some things about someone but I can’t say what”
Arghhhh!!! Just give all the information or none at all!!!!! (Mild pet peeve if you can’t tell) So I wasn’t going to be a half-giver of information. I’d wait until I had all the info before telling anyone, especially those who it will affect like my mum, my children etc
So for those who want to know what the actual diagnosis ends up to be….I’ll inbox you hun 😉