This weekend I’ve been at my parents, being waited on hand and foot.
Pre-mastectomy I had planned on spending the weekend at home. Kids would be away for the weekend so I would have the house to myself. On leaving hospital though it became apparent I couldn’t be as independent as I would like. A year ago I would have thought ‘sod it’ and gone for the independence anyway! But after the post op scare I’m being very cautious! Following all advice to the letter and trying to take it easy. Check me out…I think I’m maturing!
I’m not allowed to lift my arms higher than 90 degrees so getting things out of the cupboards/wardrobe is impossible (which also rules out most things in the fridge!) I’m also not supposed to lift anything heavier than a kettle which is apparently most things!
Giving up the independence is made easier however by how uncomfortable and in pain I am. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING is a struggle.
Which leaves so much decision making in even the smallest task. If I need a wee I need to do a very serious analysis of whether the relief of an empty bladder is worth the pain and discomfort that it will take to achieve. Moving around with the drains, even if they dont catch on anything, involves some pulling. When I get to the loo I need to somehow erm…dispense of my lower clothing, while holding the drains. Then I have to lower the drains at a rate that is not too fast that they drop to the floor before I’m in a sitting position as that will really hurt! Then I have to do the whole thing in reverse to get back to the lounge. And thats just for one wee!
Why not take more pain killers I hear you ask. Well I’m glad you asked (…you wont be!)
During the surgeries I have had tubes and things down my throat which has left it rather sore. My voice is non existent, everything I need to say I say in a husky whisper. If I had the energy I’d set up an 0900 number and make some extra cash from a sex line. But given the effort taken for one wee that doesn’t seem a viable option! Even breathing slightly too much air at once causes pain!
Even with all this pain in my throat I’m having to swallow up to 28 tablets a day (yes 28!!) it is bloody painful!! So again, with all the pain comes a decision. Sit and bear it, or suffer more pain to swallow the pain killers. And in order to take the pain killers I need to drink more water, which makes me need a wee (see previous paragraph!) It is a hard decision. Like deciding who is sexier Phillip Schofield or Paul Hollywood….I cant make that decision!! My strategy is usually to try and bear it until I have to take the other essential meds like antibiotics etc and then try and sneak some pain killers down at the same time. But even then its like seeing a perfectly balanced stack of plates and being the git that adds the one more that tips them over!
On Sunday I sit and watch the marathon. I’m watching people move about as normal (spectators and reporters- the actual runners are not normal! They are incredible!!) and I can’t see how I will ever feel like that again. I can’t move my arms, find a comfortable position to sit in, even stand up without a huge fuss. Watching people casually just lift their arms above their head is torture. I used to be able to do that!!
Luckily, as is usually the way with my family, a lot of the weekend was spent laughing (which also hurts!) So it was definitely the best place to be. If only laughter really was the best medicine. I’d be cured of Cancer for sure.You can donate now to my Boobs and Babies Fundraising! Subscribe to this blog Follow me on twitter