I think it's safe to say we're a blended family. We're not the norm. But the love every child under this roof receives is most definitely the same!  

My motherhood began in late 2015, aged 25, when I moved in with my partner and took on his 3 children permanently, at that time aged 4, 11 and 13. 

Life wasn’t all plain sailing. On Mother’s Day we'd celebrate the children’s biological Mum who had passed away, whilst also celebrating and appreciating me, their step-parent.

Mother’s Day would often consist of taking flowers to their biological mum's memorial, followed by a walk and a meal out or a home cooked roast dinner.

A Growing Family

In 2018 we became approved foster carers, which was a wonderful feeling. Since then we have loved, cared for and supported a 7-year-old, 3-month-old, 3-year-old, 2-year-old and a 2-day-old! All of whom have been loved like my own. It's broken my heart to see them move on to adoption or a family member, but I remind myself that I chose to foster them for them, not for me.  

Mother's Day took on a whole new dynamic once we began fostering. We'd be remembering my children’s biological Mum, celebrating my role as their step Mum - but how do you celebrate Mother’s Day for a child in care?

Some of the younger children didn't understand the meaning behind Mother’s Day, but I would always make an effort to do home made cards with them. Where possible we would pass them onto their Mum and, of course, they would take part in our celebrations too, as part of the family.

We have only had one foster child who was old enough to understand Mother’s Day. Her mum passed away while she was in care with us, so we celebrated the memory she had of her Mum and she also made me a gift, which was lovely, and I will treasure it forever.  

Our Biological Journey

During the mist of family life and fostering, I fell pregnant in late 2018 and my little bundle arrived in 2019. Pregnancy didn't come without its difficulties, and then after a fairly ok start to labour, he was born by emergency c-section, a healthy little 7lb 5oz boy.  


When will Mother’s Day start having more meaning I ask myself? Now! Remembering my children’s late mum, appreciating step-parenting, celebrating for children in care, and now a biological mum too!  

Although more and more meaning is added, not much changes for us though. No matter the situation, we're celebrating the same - the love for our Mums, whether they lay at rest, are distanced, unable to care for you or are here in person, we all love our Mum in some way, shape or form. Ultimately, for us, that is what the day is about - and I also try to get out of all household or nappy duties for one whole day!


Now here we are, 2021, navigating a pandemic as a family of 6; 18, 16, 10 and 20 months! Not forgetting the two dogs who are also part of our family life. We are also currently on stand by for the next foster child who needs our support. 

Motherhood, to me, can't be defined by the word Mum. It's so much more than that label.

Motherhood for me is the cuddles when they're sad. It's the school plays, the milestones, the achievements, the nagging to tidy or do homework, the nappy changes and the night feeds. It's the care you give.

Motherhood is the feeling in my heart that I would do anything for that child - anything to see them happy and safe.

I break inside to see them hurt or sad, but we put on a brave face and we make it better for them. For me, those feelings are motherhood, whether they landed here through choice, through labour or with a piece of paper and a social worker at my doorstep!