The morning of Saturday 3rd March 2018 was a morning like any other, 32 weeks and 2 days expecting our 2nd child. I took my car for MOT and went to run some errands, whilst in my local Asda I began with a few pains which I presumed could be brackston hicks, but as these grew stronger I took my self home and called my local antenatal day until who told me to come and get checked.

I was taken to labour ward, the midwife came in to put me on a monitor to which then our world came crashing down. The heartbeat of our precious baby could not be found. We were taken to have a scan and told the words no one should hear “I’m so sorry your baby had died” I came out of the room and fell into my mums arms, I felt like my world had stopped.

My labour progressed fast and at 17:47pm our 2nd beautiful baby boy Tommy entered the world silently. I held him on my chest, he was beautiful, looked like his big brother, but reality set in we would not hear him cry, he would not be coming home, how did we tell people.. 1 million things rushing through our heads. We had brilliant facilities at our local hospital and was in a specialist bereavement suite which my partner stayed & our eldest son came and spend time with us so we could be a family of 4 even for a short time. we had 3 precious nights with our beautiful boy, our family and friends came to meet him. Leaving the hospital was the hardest, seeing people come in and out the doors with bumps, car seats and all I had was a bag and a memory box, but with the support of my mum, mother in law and my partner I did it.  I met the bereavement midwife the day after my son was born & still 6 months on she is a big part of our journey.

6 months on it is still very hard day to day, but I am gradually getting back to work, I have taken lots of support given, and as family we are remembering our beautiful baby Tommy in so many different ways, where ever we are he is always with us.

I am so proud of my eldest boy who talks about Tommy and includes him in everything he does. I am a very proud mummy to 2 beautiful boys 💙👦🏻👼🏻💙