The Group Rules There are ten housekeeping rules members are required to be aware of and follow. These rules exist to keep members safe and the group peaceful. Some rules are more commonly "broken" than others and, in quieter groups, it can be rare for something to crop up that you need to look at. We'll discuss and provide more detail on the most commonly breached rules first. COMMONLY BREACHED RULES You will find that posts regarding baby movement are not uncommon and can occur at any point during the stages of pregnancy. Why This Rule is Important It's well-known that, when a mum is concerned regarding her pregnancy or baby's movement, online forums or groups can be their first port of call. Whilst the majority of other members want to help and will give someone the correct advice, it's important that misinformation is avoided and encouragement is given, so mums seek the help they need. Examples of Rule Break I'm 35 weeks and have noticed a sudden increase in my baby's movement, is this something I should report to my midwife? There is no current research that can tell us whether an increase is a potential problem and therefore no official guidance. However, we recommend that ANY change from the baby's norm should be reported and therefore a moderator can advise the mum to contact their Maternity Unit and that further comments will be disabled to prevent any incorrect or misleading information being provided. My baby has not moved this morning, as she normally does. I was thinking I should give the midwife a call, would you all agree? I don't want to waste their time if it's nothing! This is a definite yes! She needs to seek advice from her midwife or hospital. Often we find that women just need a little reassurance and nudge that they're doing the right thing. Example of a Post That Doesn't Break This Rule I'm 37 weeks and am in hospital being checked for reduced movements. As soon as the monitor went on she began kicking away! Typical! The midwife was so lovely though, she assured me I was not wasting their time and is better to be safe than sorry. Always get checked ladies, I feel so much better. Some posts look as though they may be a rule break initially, but on further reading are fine. Although this post mentioned a reduction in baby movement, she had already been to the hospital and is simply sharing her experience - thankfully a positive one. In this instance, the moderator thanked her and wished her well. No medical advice is one of the most regularly 'broken' group rules. There can be a fine line between what constitutes someone asking for medical advice and when someone is simply asking for others' experiences and support. You'll quickly get to know what's what. Why This Rule is Important While other mums are well-willed and knowledgable, medical advice should always be sought from a doctor or midwife who can investigate concerns and treat them appropriately. Online groups and forums are known to contribute towards people delaying seeking proper advice, which is one of the main reasons our groups are moderated. The need for this rule continues on after the babies' are born too, with mums occasionally asking about rashes or other concerns they have about their baby. Examples of a Rule Break "I've just been to the toilet and I've started bleeding. The blood is really red and I'm not sure what to do. Has anyone else had this before?" It's clear that this lady needs to speak to a doctor or midwife and urgently. All bleeding and pain during pregnancy should be discussed with a medical professional. In this instance, moderators should tell them to call their maternity unit so they can advise them further. It's always nice to end a comment with something like "let us know how you get on" too. "I'm 39 weeks, feel really sick and keep getting tummy cramps, is this labour?! Should I call my midwife?" When the time comes, it can be really hard to know if you're in labour or just suffering from unpleasant pregnancy symptoms. These types of posts become increasingly common in the last few weeks of pregnancy, while mums try and determine what they're experiencing. Generally speaking, if someone is asking if they should call a midwife, the answer to that question is a resounding yes. Anyone questioning if they are in labour should run their symptoms via a midwife who can give them an accurate answer based on their medical history and symptoms. Example of a Post That Doesn't Break This Rule Some posts can initially look as though they break this rule, but fall into a grey area. Such as: "I’m suffering really bad with a tickly cough. I’m coughing that much it’s making my chest feel bruised. Any home remedies that will help ladies? I’ve got midwife today also so I’ll ask if can take any over the counter meds" It's important to encourage people to seek advice from a health professional when it comes to medications and feeling unwell. In this instance, however, the poster is seeing her midwife later that day, and the need for her to get advice isn't necessarily urgent. This poster was advised to try honey and lemon by some other members, calling her local pharmacist was also suggested by the group moderator. Posts about these products crop up from time to time, largely because the poster isn't aware of the potential dangers that they face. It's important that these posts are moderated, to ensure that the purchase and use of these products isn't encouraged. Why This Rule is Important Kicks Count and other organisations, including the NHS, strongly advise against the use of home dopplers. Any posts regarding these should be removed and the poster contacted to let them know why. Examples of a Rule Break Generally speaking, all posts regarding home dopplers, sleep positioners or cot bumpers should be removed, but here are some examples. "My home doppler arrived this morning and it was so wonderful to hear my baby's heartbeat, my other children loved it too!" "A friend of mine has just recommended that I buy a home doppler, do any of you have one?" "Nursery is finished! My cot is looking gorgeous, especially the bumper" Any item that is not recommended by health professionals should not be discussed within the groups due to the risk of misinformation being provided. LESS COMMONLY BREACHED RULES RULE 2: BE KIND & COURTEOUS This rule is a Facebook suggested rule and we fully agree! It goes without saying that not everybody is kind online. Healthy debates are expected, but kindness is required. Ultimately, the groups are there to offer support and friendship. If a conversation ever becomes heated and people become unpleasant with each other, please try your best to diffuse the situation. Turning off comments or even deleting posts can be needed if conflict continues. RULE 3: NO HATE SPEECH OR BULLYING Fortunately, we never see this within our groups, but setting the boundary is important. Its another rule advised by Facebook. The rule is what is says on the tin - this type of behaviour won't be tolerated, including degrading comments about things such as race, religion, culture, sexual orientation, gender or identity. RULE 4: RESPECT EVERYONE'S PRIVACY Being part of an online group requires mutual trust. The groups are private for a reason - so mums can share their thoughts, concerns and lives with other members while feeling safe. This is a tricky rule to moderate. For example, if screenshots from within the group are shared outside of it, you're unlikely to ever know about it. Still, what's shared in the group should stay in the group, so be vigilant. RULE 7. BE MINDFUL OF PERSONAL DETAILS As with all groups online, members circumstances and identities can't be verified. Members should be mindful when sharing personal details and not ask other members for money. The most common time we see this rule broken within groups is people asking for money from other members. Their plight may be genuine, but we can't verify their situation and where any money that's given is going. If you come across one of these posts, please post in the Moderators Group where we can discuss what action to take in that specific circumstance. RULE 8. PERSONAL BUY AND SELL POSTS ONLY The purpose of the group isn't to sell products, especially by businesses. Personal buy and sell posts are permitted, but any business-related posts should be removed. RULE 9. USE TRIGGER WARNINGS If a member is posting about something that may be potentially upsetting to other members, we ask that the post is started with a “trigger warning” so people can choose to scroll by. If you think that a post warrants such, you can contact the member and ask that their edit their post to include the trigger warning. RULE 10. THE FINAL SAY Occasionally, there can be upset from people who feel their post or comment shouldn't have been deleted. This rule is simple - Kicks Count reserve the right to make the final decision as to which posts & comments are visible within a group. If someone is upset with a decision that you've made, get in touch with us so we can help. CONSISTENT RULE BREAKERS Whilst the majority of members adhere to the group rules and are understanding if their post is removed or comments disabled, we occasionally come across 'consistent rule breakers'. This is someone who, despite being advised about a rule a number of times, continues to post breaching the rules. In these instances, we recommend post-approval being activated for them and so a moderator can check the post/question prior to it being made public. Don't hesitate to contact us if you need help and advice regarding a tricky group member. REMOVAL OF A GROUP MEMBER We're pleased to say that the need for this is rare, however, it can be needed. Regardless of the reason for their removal, removing a member tends to have repercussions within the group and beyond it, so it should be an absolute last resort. If you think a member is behaving in a way that requires removal please do the following: Put that member on post-approval, so they are temporarily unable to post. Post in the Moderators Group explaining what's been happening. The situation can be discussed with us here at Kicks Count, and other Moderators, and we can decide if removal is justified. ABUSE OF MODERATORS Although this isn't a specific rule (it will be when Facebook up their limit of 10!) it certainly falls under Rules 2 and 3. If you ever feel you're becoming a target for abuse contact us straight away so we can help. We also recommend the following: Be clear with members from the start - abuse of moderators is never OK. This being clear should prevent it from happening. If a member is trying to pick a fight with you, it's hard, but don't bite. This also applies if you receive messages outside of the group from someone who is cross. Post on the Moderators Group and/or contact us to discuss what's happening and get support. Remember that it's not as personal as it feels - it's not about you - fundamentally, it's the rules they don't like! We are responsible for those rules, not you, so we're more than happy to speak to anyone who has an issue with them. Set up a Facebook Messenger group chat with the other moderators so you can discuss any issues and support each other if and when needed. Lots of our moderators have amazing relationships and grow to be good friends. Don't disclose too much personal information within the group and be aware of the privacy settings on your personal page. HEAD TO: POSITIVE FEEDBACK >> Manage Cookie Preferences