I remember so clearly I had such a niggling feeling that something wasnt right, it sounds mad but I do honestly believe in a mother's intuition. I had even tried to purchase a home doppler in the last weeks of my pregnancy and thankfully couldn't get hold of one.
It was a Tuesday evening as I remember I was due to go to my pregnancy yoga class with a friend when i realised i wasnt happy with my babys movements. He was moving but but less frequently and the kicks were less intense. I felt guilty letting my friend down and going in AGAIN to be checked (this was my 3rd time) but each and every time the midwives were so lovely. I was hooked up to the ctg monitor and the familiar heartbeat sound was such a relief and was expecting to head back home happily reassured. However the midwifes and drs had noticed that the trace didn't look quite right, he was less active and so they said they would keep me in to break my waters and induce me. There was no great panic and off we went to the ward. Not long after my waters broke the dr decided the baby was distressed and that they were going to do an emcs. Oliver was born shortly after and it was lovely, even getting a cuddle in recovery. However it was at that point things changed, he was very pale and they couldn't seem to get any blood to take a sample. They decided he needed extra care and whipped him into nicu where he recieved 2 blood transfusions and after various tests revealed he had suffered a fetal maternal haemorrhage and had lost a third of his blood. He ended up staying a week in nicu but thankfully made a full recovery. I was told if I had waited even a few hours to go in and get checked he would not have survived. These words have haunted me as I know I'm so so lucky that hes now a healthy happy 3 year old, but how easily I could have dismissed my worries and waited.
Also I know for sure if i had checked his heartbeat at home I would have been falsely reassured. It was only for the expertise of the highly skilled midwives and drs that meant his issues were picked up and I realise now how dangerous home dopplers are and what tragedies they can cause. Being aware of my baby's movements and knowing to go and get checked as soon as something just didn't feel right was the best thing I ever did. I subsequently had a baby girl recently and although the pregnancy was fraught with anxiety I felt confident in going to be seen when I wasn't happy and she was born healthy at 37 weeks by csection.